In the world of dating, a “through pass” is when a friend, colleague or even a random acquaintance tries to set you up with someone- often without your request. While some of these passes lead to meaningful relationships, many end up as disastrous matchups filled with regrets. In today’s fast-paced, unpredictable dating scene, accepting an unsolicited romantic connection can be like walking into a trap…one filled with revenge STI spreading, transactional sex, casual time-wasting and financial manipulation. Before you blindly chase after a ball passed your way, ask yourself: Is this really worth it?
The reality of modern dating is that not everyone is looking for love. Some people are just seeking revenge. Stories of partners intentionally infecting others with HIV and other STIs as payback for past heartbreaks are alarmingly common. Imagine minding your business when a “friend” hooks you up with someone who seems perfect, only to later discover you were just part of their bitter revenge plot. With Kenya’s rising cases of intentional STI transmission, you can’t afford to trust a hookup just because it came from a friend. Protect yourself; ask questions, go for tests, and don’t rush into anything just because someone played matchmaker.
Then there’s the transactional dating economy, where money rules over emotions. Some through passes are nothing more than carefully orchestrated business deals, where one party is looking for a sponsor and the other is unknowingly about to be milked dry. The rise of soft life culture, rent-paying lovers, and “M-Pesa ya fare” negotiations has made dating less about connection and more about financial exploitation. If your friend sets you up with someone, always ask: Am I being connected to love, or am I just a financial opportunity?
Another landmine in the dating field? Rebound relationships and casual time-wasters. Some people accept blind dates or setups simply because they need a distraction, not because they are genuinely interested in a relationship. You could be investing your time, emotions and energy into someone who is just using you to get over their ex or fill the silence in their lonely nights. By the time you realize you were just a pit stop, they’ve already moved on, leaving you with emotional whiplash.
And let’s not forget the modern heartbreak Olympics where people play games just to see how much they can emotionally, sexually or financially manipulate others. You might think you’re entering a potential relationship, but in reality, you’re just part of someone’s toxic social experiment. From people who date for content creation (fake love stories for TikTok engagement) to those who deliberately waste people’s time for the thrill of it, the dating streets are rough. A through pass might seem like an innocent gesture, but in today’s age of fake intentions and selfish motives, you have to be extra cautious.
At the end of the day, not all through passes are bad but in today’s unpredictable dating scene, unsolicited hookups should be approached with skepticism. Love should never feel like a forced game, and if someone is truly meant for you, it won’t need excessive matchmaking or manipulation. So, before you accept that next through pass, ask yourself the hard questions: Who is benefiting from this connection? Is this really a chance at love, or am I walking straight into a trap? In matters of the heart, it’s better to be overly cautious than painfully regretful.
4o
