In Kenya’s buzzing social scene, it’s becoming more common for mistresses to openly date married men and brag about it. The drama, the soft life, the luxury vacations and the messy online spats seem to fuel an entire industry of side-chick culture. But let’s be real: is dating someone else’s husband really the power move some claim it to be?
We’ve seen this play out countless times, from socialites flaunting married lovers to influencers shading wives on social media. The thrill of being the “chosen one” comes with designer bags and trips to Diani, Dubai, Seychelles and every other exotic location, but at what cost? The public humiliation? The never-ending drama? The reputation that follows long after the relationship ends?
In the grand scheme of things, mistresses rarely come out on top. If history is anything to go by, the story always ends the same: the man goes back to his wife (or finds another side chick), the social media hype dies and the mistress is left picking up the pieces of a temporary fantasy. If he cheated on his wife with you, why do you think he won’t cheat on you? And yes, Kenyans, we all know who our infamous cheats are- Instagram has been their playground and downfall for years now!
It’s no secret that some women knowingly get involved with married men. Some claim it’s about “securing the bag,” while others believe they are genuinely loved. But let’s not kid ourselves… most times, they are just a temporary escape for men looking to have their cake and eat it too.
At this point, we must also resign to some fates and be honest. Some women won’t stop being mistresses no matter what is said. But if you’re going to take that path, at least move smart. We currently have a Kenyan MP who has been exposed for dating a Tanzanian socialite, bringing her to his marital home and her publicizing their affair on social media platforms. If you must cheat, especially with famous married men, the first thing you must absolutely stop yourself from doing is publicizing the affair. No, you don’t need to post him. No, you don’t need to throw shade at his wife. The more you talk, the messier it gets. Move in silence.
Also, if a married man is spending on you, invest in something real. A business, property, a degree or diploma or something that will outlive the relationship. Don’t let him only leave you with Gucci bags and a bad reputation- and a baby to boot! You want assets, not liabilities!
This one, note keenly. Never fight the wife. If his marriage is bad, that’s his battle to fight. No woman has ever “won” by humiliating a wife online. It only makes you look insecure and childish- or even a practicing witch, just ask ‘Demakuku‘. Also, have an exit strategy. This is not a long-term arrangement. The day he stops calling or finds another mistress, make sure you’ve secured your next move.
Let’s face it… society is harder on mistresses than it is on cheating men. While men walk away with their dignity intact, mistresses often become a cautionary tale. Do you want to be known as “that girl” whose claim to fame was being someone’s side piece? Instead of chasing after married men, why not build your own empire, attract someone who will publicly claim you and avoid the stress of sneaking around? Because at the end of the day, true power isn’t in being a man’s best-kept secret, it’s in being someone’s first and only choice.
