Dear Chief Financier of Extracurricular Affairs,
We see you Mubaba (male sponsor). The distinguished gentleman with a well-tailored suit, a taste for single malt whisky and a keen eye for “potential” in the university corridors and high-end lounges. You move with the confidence of a man who has seen it all- built empires, raised families and now, in your later years, have decided that love should come with a receipt and a well-documented budget. But let’s talk about this weekly mistress allowance you so generously dish out.
Is this an investment or an expense? Because, truth be told, some of these young ladies view your stipend the way the government sees tax revenue…something to be collected, not accounted for. While you assume she’s using it for hair appointments and luxury dinners, she might just be stacking it for a silent exit strategy. A soft life is expensive, but so is independence. Just a thought, do you ever wonder if you’re funding your own replacement?
Also, are you truly in control, or are you just a well-dressed ATM? You sit there, thinking you have the upper hand, but let’s be real; the power dynamic is shifting. These ladies have mastered the art of emotional capitalism. They know the right words to whisper, the perfect balance of affection and mystery to keep the M-Pesa messages flowing. And should they ever grow tired of your predictable deposits, there’s another “investor” on standby, ready to double the weekly budget.
And if you were to really think about it, is the return on investment worth the risk? Because while you’re out here living your best sugar-daddy life, there’s a GOAT wife at home who has built with you from scratch. She was there when your first car- probably a Toyota Starlet or Peugeot- had a faulty ignition and when your business was just an ambitious idea over a plate of nyama choma. If she ever decides that your side adventures are too costly- emotionally and legally- well, let’s just say the severance package could be steeper than you budgeted for.
So, dear sponsor, the beloved Mubaba known in every hotel and lodging along Mombasa and Thika Roads, before you approve that next “urgent” M-Pesa request, take a moment to reflect. Is it love, is it loyalty or is it simply a well-curated business arrangement? The younger generation isn’t playing checkers anymore, they’re playing chess. And in this game, it’s not always the king who calls checkmate!
Signed,
Me.
