In Kenya’s fast-evolving digital landscape, addiction has taken on new faces- especially among millennial and Gen Z women. While traditional substance abuse remains a concern, an increasing number of young women are battling addictions that are less talked about—sex, money and fame. The rise of social media has only made these obsessions more intense, turning validation into currency and fueling cycles of self-destruction in pursuit of an unattainable ideal.
“As a therapist, I see how social media addiction can deeply impact women’s mental health and emotional well-being, particularly regarding money, sex and fame. These issues are tied to validation, self-worth and societal expectations, making them powerful triggers for addictive behaviors,” began Ms Audrey Oluyole, a Nairobi-based Counselling Psychologist and Therapist.
She went on, “Social media is designed to be addictive. Algorithms push content that triggers dopamine release, the brain’s reward chemical, creating a cycle of instant gratification and craving for more engagement. For women, this manifests in several ways. The first one is desiring money. The rise of influencers and get-rich-quick online schemes make financial success seem effortless. Many women fall into addiction to online gambling, risky investments/fraud, transactional sex or even compulsive online shopping as they chase the illusion of financial security through social media world aspirations.”
In matters sex addiction, Ms Oluyole mentioned that hypersexualization on platforms such as Instagram and TikTok normalizes using sexuality for attention and validation.
“We see that many posts have a bit of sexuality in them, from how women dress, to workouts, to different fashion designs. There’s a bit of sexualization in them. Some women may engage in risky behaviors including sexting, OnlyFans style content creation or casual encounters, all driven by a need for approval or financial fame. The pursuit of likes, followers and viral moments creates an illusion that self-worth is tied to online visibility. Women who struggle with low self-esteem or past rejection may become obsessed with curating the perfect ‘online persona’ at the expense of their real identity,” continued Ms Oluyole.
It must be noted that sex addiction isn’t just about physical pleasure, it’s often rooted in deep emotional and psychological needs. Many women find themselves in toxic sexual relationships, seeking love, attention or a way to numb emotional pain. With hookup culture on the rise, dating apps and social media creating endless access to potential partners, the thrill of new encounters can quickly spiral into dependency.
Kenyan influencers and socialites have also normalized “sponsors” (wealthy older men) and transactional sex, making it seem like a path to an easy lifestyle that is also luxurious to a point. However, the emotional toll, unwanted pregnancies, STIs and low self-worth that follow can be devastating. Yet, social media continues to paint an illusion of glamor around hypersexuality, reinforcing addiction to validation through sexual encounters.
According to Ms Oluyole, women who are more prone to these addictions suffer low self esteem seeking validation from outside sources, maybe suffered childhood neglect or abuse that makes them crave attention and approval and the fear of missing out- not being seen or recognized- as well as social comparison where they may feel inadequate compared to curated online lives.
Also, for many Kenyan women, the hunger for fame is no longer about talent or achievements- it’s about going viral, getting likes and staying relevant. Kenyan Gen Z women are at the forefront of TikTok challenges, controversial tweets and Instagram thirst traps, all in pursuit of digital clout.
The downside? Anxiety, depression and an insatiable need for approval. Social media algorithms reward controversy, pushing young women into extremes- be it oversharing personal struggles for sympathy or engaging in online drama for engagement. What starts as fun can quickly morph into a relentless chase for validation, where self-worth is tied to digital numbers rather than real-life accomplishments.
“The long term mental and emotional effects of chasing online validation include anxiety and depression, constant comparison and reliance on external validation can worsen self doubt. They will also suffer identity crises. Living for online approval can lead to losing touch with one’s real personality and values. Loneliness, emotional exertion to stay relevant, self harm tendencies and isolation where they struggle to form deep, authentic relationships and addictive behaviors are other effects,” explained Ms Oluyole.
While sex, money and fame can offer temporary highs, they often lead to emotional emptiness, financial ruin and identity crises. Kenyan women need to break the cycles.
“So, how do they break free from these tendencies? The first one they can do a digital detox taking regular breaks on social media to reconnect with real life experiences. They can also do therapy and self-reflection to understand the root cause of the need for online validation. They also need to mindfully use social media. Following content that promotes growth rather than comparison or gossip can help breaking free from this habit then building self-worth offline. This is by developing hobbies, meaningful relationships and career goals beyond social media, and then the last one setting boundaries- limiting social media time and avoiding toxic digital spaces,” advised Ms Oluyole.
To develop healthier relationships with money, sex and fame, Kenyan women need to have financial discipline and education, they can also practice delayed gratification which will stop them from compulsively engaging in certain activities as well as redefining social recognition by focusing on real world achievements rather than likes and followers. They should also surround themselves with supportive friends, family and mentors as well as understand their true worth is internal and not external.
“Social media can be a powerful tool but when it leads to addiction around money sex and fame, it can be deeply damaging. Women must take control by setting boundaries, building self-esteem outside of social validation and focusing on long-term well-being rather than fleeting online success,” concluded Ms Oluyole.
