“When I was your age, we used to…”, “My parents did it like this and I’m not going to do it any differently”, “my culture/tribe does not permit me to do this and that”, “This is how I was raised, I don’t see why I should change”. The list goes on and on about how some people stick to traditions that were once considered standard but now feel outdated, restrictive and harmful.
As millennials and Gen-Z, we need to continue pushing for a world that is more authentic and balanced; and leave behind certain societal expectations that no longer serve us. Here are three society rules that need to go- with or without a maandamano!
The first one has to be the toxic work culture in Kenya. Generation X and Baby Boomers birthed and drilled this lifestyle into their offspring, and the last generation to probably deal with this are the millennials. The idea that you must always be grinding for hours on end in and out of corporate Kenya, sacrificing personal well-being and measuring your worth by your productivity and how many people should be able to depend on you is unhealthy! Many millennials today have no rest, joy or a work-life balance because they have been taught to prioritize success as a life achievement. This needs to go! Burning out is not a badge of honor and that workplace will continue functioning the same long after you are gone.
Secondly, shaming people for their lifestyle choices must stop. With immediate effect. Right now, Kenya’s social media space is abuzz with ongoing wars of words including beef between single, child-free people and married parents, supporters of different political parties and the President, proposers and opposers regarding the conflict in Gaza as well as America’s President Donald Trump’s Executives Orders that are being felt beyond U.S.A borders.
Whether it’s career paths, marriage, parenting, politics or finances, society needs to stop pressuring people to follow a “one-size-fits-all” blueprint for life. Everyone’s opinions and journey is different, and that’s okay.
Third, gendered expectations in relationships need to go. The idea that men must be providers and women must be caretakers is outdated and limiting. Love and partnerships should be about balance, not rigid roles. Women can be breadwinners and men can be nurturers. Better yet, both partners can share responsibilities. Relationships should be built on mutual respect, not outdated gender norms that dictate who does what. Case in point, a couple working in corporate Kenya cannot both arrive home late from work and the man expects the woman to tread to the kitchen to prepare his meals while he ‘unwinds’ from a long day of work. It does not make sense and only fosters animosity in the relationship.
Fourth, suffering for the sake of traditions needs to stop. Not all traditions are worth keeping, especially the ones that enforce suffering in the name of “respect” or “culture.” Whether it’s toxic family expectations such as hefty black tax payments every month, staying in bad marriages for appearances or putting up with outdated beauty standards, it’s time to challenge traditions that no longer serve us. Growth means questioning, evolving and choosing happiness over unnecessary struggle.
Last but not least, we need to stop glorifying emotional suppression. Phrases like “man up” or “stay strong” discourage people from expressing their emotions, leading to mental health struggles- and this has been a growing crisis in Kenya over the past few years. Normalizing vulnerability and emotional well-being is crucial for a healthier society.
Baby Boomer and Gen X may be beyond evolving with society but millennials and Gen-Z can influence change that will impact Generation Alpha and beyond. We should change as the world changes. Let us prioritize society rules that prioritize happiness, equity and real success. After all, the future isn’t built by following old rules, it’s built by rewriting them.
